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Mr. Deer

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happy fookin' sait paddies day, i love ya ma! [17 Mar 2006|06:03pm]
Has the Shepard led his lambs astray
Must it take a life for hateful eyes
To glisten once again
Cause we find ourselves in the same old mess
Singin' drunken lullabies

Ah, but maybe it`s the way you were taught
Or maybe it`s the way we fought
But a smile never grins without tears to begin
For each kiss is a cry we all lost
Though there is nothing left to gain
But for the banshee that stole the grave
Cause we find ourselves in the same old mess
Singin' drunken lullabies

I sit in and dwell on faces past
Like memories seem to fade
No colour left but black and white
And soon will all turn grey
But may these shadows rise to walk again
With lessons truly learnt
When the blossom flowers in each our hearts
Shall beat a new found flame

Must it take a life for hateful eyes
To glisten once again
Cause we find ourselves in the same old mess
Singin' drunken lullabies
punch in the face?

[14 Mar 2006|02:57am]
sorry i havnt been around for a while in a very uninteresting way...im not sure how i feel...im not sure about alot sorry to be so cryptic but it is late and if your curious then just call me. ill write more coherently later
2 dont mind if i do| punch in the face?

[26 Aug 2005|09:29pm]
2 dont mind if i do| punch in the face?

you know...Fredrick fucking Chopin [03 Aug 2005|01:02am]
i will never get over this longing to be Doc Holiday from the movie tombstone. God DAMN!
punch in the face?

the ladies call me..."HEY...YOU IN TH E BUSHES!" [03 Aug 2005|12:55am]
so i have finally gotten enough hours at work to make having a job i dont hate worth it...i might even be able to life like an adult! im excited for yet another trip to indy...there are some things i gotta do and some people i need to see. i kinda have a bet going with myself on my car making it there and back again. we shall see. lets see what else goes on in my life...oh yeah...i restrung my ovation with bluegrass strings that i got for 2 american dollars at the henris blowout...im pretty stoked about that. and i need sleep.
punch in the face?

[02 Jul 2005|02:08am]
trying to spend my friday night completely stress free. i have curled up in my home with lydian currently purring on my lap, just as lovely as the first time. the things on my mind right now are of the wait and see if it works out variety...god i hate that variety. will i be able to make it to indy 2 times in a month. (thats right my lil'est brother just qualified for the USA championships in gymnastics...that means hes gonna be competing against the big boys(olympians) august 10th in my hometown *indy* so ima have to see that. my car sucks for gas so this aint commin cheep. further more my landlord needs his face cut...or a good kick in the neck...or something...my house sucks and so me...the lady...the cats...need to get the fuck outta here.stress stress stress. so the search for a second job continues...im actually looking forward to a second job. and knowing that it is a second job. but for now im going back to my origional idea of curling up and reading on a friday night...cuz im a dork...fuck you.....no really.....fuck you.
punch in the face?

easy like sunday morning. [20 Jun 2005|03:35am]
what an amazing sunday.it started out with watching anime porn and a conversation on mathmatics with my girlfriend. ("present day" rhys high fives "highschool" rhys) such an amazing sunday morning.
punch in the face?

[05 Jun 2005|04:36am]
i got tagged by vintage76:

Things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level? Make a list, post it to your journal... and then tag 5 friends and ask them to post it to theirs.

1. laying on the floor in front of the stereo and listening to an album all the way through (appreciating the artists story (or lack there of))
2. getting over the intimidation of "THE FIRST PAGE" of a new journal and/or drawing pad.
3. dusk...i fucking love dusk. all the neighbors who are grilling, smells and sounds. dusk is amazing.(not to detract from dawn which has its own amazing qualities...its just not dusk. grilling by yourself at dusk is a pure moment in life by god that needs to be savored. something holy happens.
4. the first "smell" of a fresh bag of potato chips...you know...right as you are tearing the bag open.
5. not knowing what back-road you are on...not caring

* ashendust
* thetaswimlu
*(i promise i will come back and tag more people but i just realized taht i dont have much time to sleep and well...im lazy and like my sleep)
3 dont mind if i do| punch in the face?

used to be a folk singer now youre just a joke singer [03 Jun 2005|01:34am]
Little pictures in my head
Turning inside out again
Cause fucking up takes practice I feel I'm well rehearsed
Because the past is a bully and the futures even worse
tell me what you fear cause I can feel it like a curse

been rolling around in my head for a week now...im not really sure the point of this post except that i feel guilty for never posting.
punch in the face?

exit stage right pursued by feelings of "i should have done more" [16 May 2005|02:13pm]
well...i know i made an impact and thats all i ever really wanted. the ymca and i have decided that we should part ways. basicaly i dedided that these boys were worth fighting for and they decided that they were not. so after almost a year of ups and downs and have 10 amazing kids in my life it is time to move on. ive been offered a job at a Green Bay gym but im not sure how i feel about it. first, the pay is way low. second, the equipment is really not up to code. Third, im not sure how i feel about the owner (philosophicly). could i improve that gym if i decided to take the job...yes. inside of 3 months. would my team follow me up there...yes...but im not sure i want to take them to that gym in fact im pretty sure i dont. so i will instead go to oshkosh and bother that gym and see if they need me. im so qualified for the job its recockulous but who knows...i know i did something great for these boys and i know we will always stay intouch but i (because i habor guilt like a catholic) i cant shake the feeling that i could have done more...i have been assured by girlfriend and team mother alike that this is simply not true but...we all know me.

...busy busy busy...

in further new re: above suckiness... i found out how their first practice without me went...
the coach who replaced me (aka my former boss) aparently lied to them...how does it feel to lie to children Laura?
who the fuck lies to 8 to 12 year olds? i what the hell. how do you sleep at night (i am alot more pissed than i am typing...i mean come on...she lied to my boys.) i wanna bring her a huge scarlet 'L' to but on her coaching jacket.
i also hear that there has been a huge backlash from the parents of both the team and classes i coached. they are going to petition the board of directors about this and see what happens. what worries me the most is that none of the coaches that are going to coach my boys has any clue how to spot...god im upset about this. its been a few days now and ive tried to see the good and move on(which i am hence the trying to find a new job and the keeping in touch with the boys) but im so angry for these guys...they dont deserve this. they did nothing wrong.
punch in the face?

[12 May 2005|02:10pm]
Remington fucking typewriter...in my house...ours...holy shit!
1 dont mind if i do| punch in the face?

[13 Apr 2005|02:32pm]
dogs love me 'cuz im crazy sniffable
1 dont mind if i do| punch in the face?

i am jacks aimless rage [06 Apr 2005|04:54am]
"i wanted to put a bullet in every panda that wouldnt screw to save its species. i wanted to open the valves on all those oil tankers and cover all those French beaches i'd never see. i wanted to breathe smoke."

i am so angry at so much that im not even sure how much of it is unfounded or not. im not even sure its worthwhile. so fucking angry. and the worst part is i know what i need to do to fix alot of it but sure enough everyday there i am...making the same fucking mistakes. people are pissing me off. things are pissing me off. most of all...situations and reasonings most of which are beyond my control. im trying so hard not to snap. not to fuel any unnecessary rage that comes my way. this weekend there needs to be a big letting off of stem. but for now...as always i will swallow and keep on moving or atleast fighting for the will to move. fuck.

ps... for those who worry. im fine. things are fine. dont fret your pretty little heads.
1 dont mind if i do| punch in the face?

[28 Mar 2005|02:47am]
a handgun and a bottle of Boons a 69 ford and a new pair of shoes...
1 dont mind if i do| punch in the face?

[16 Mar 2005|10:36pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

a lit cigarette and a slight distrust of everything flowing out of brain side manor. baby's napping with all the cats. its quiet and yet i cant even listen to the song thats been stuck in my head for the past week and a half. am i fucking up school? should i quit my job, it doesnt pay the bills but it makes me proud. its am up hill battle but you should see the kids. they tell me jokes and they laugh at mine. they give me these looks of honest interest at the wisdom i hold and the things i will teach them today. THe goal i set forth to do for all the kids present and future is not even close to achieved but i dont know how to swing it. ends are not met. freedom is not held. and it feels like im drowning in ground not yet caught up. its not that im depressed i can smell the air. it will be sweet soon. the rain is gonna come with the sound of applause as it cheers and screams for my rock shows put on in an empty room with cats the only witnesses and it will drown all ill feelings left and frozen by a winter of discontent. i will smoke cigars i will take drives that waste the already to low amount of gas left in the tank. i will drown out the man singing on the radio...i sound better than him any day anyway. it will be a spring of accomplishments and stick-to-it-ivness. i will win.

i hope.

1 dont mind if i do| punch in the face?

[29 Jan 2005|04:11am]

My pirate name is:

Iron Tom Flint

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.
2 dont mind if i do| punch in the face?

[17 Dec 2004|06:41am]

I am Strength

Strength represents patience and compassion. Getting angry is easy when events turn sour, but dealing calmly with frustration takes great strength. So does accepting others and forgiving mistakes. We need strength to mold situations softly. The Chariot controls through mastery and authority. Card 8 is more subtle, even loving. Notice how the lion (itself a symbol of strength) is being guided and tamed by the woman's gentle hands.

For a full description of your card and other goodies, please visit LearnTarot.com

What tarot card are you? Enter your birthdate.

Month: Day: Year:

punch in the face?

[03 Dec 2004|12:49pm]
alright...its been awhile but the computer is back to being set up i am "moved"(incredibly loose use of the word) in to my new place and life is goin so i just wanted those who care to know i am still alive.
3 dont mind if i do| punch in the face?

[08 Oct 2004|02:28pm]
Your LJ Halloween Party by cerulean_dreams
What are you going to be for Halloween?
Dressed up as a Vampirecimmorene
Came as a psycho Clownpirate_becca
Dressed up as a Nudistdoominator
Came as a Sexy Witchdreagrrl19
Painted themselves yellow and ran around screamingpsych0tron
Dressed up as a Pirateidiosyncrarchy
Wore a Catwoman outfitthe_revolution
Dressed up as Dr. Frankenfurtersynthscribbles
Spiked the Punchjnueve
Is coming after you with a real knifemaloki
Quiz created with MemeGen!
punch in the face?

hello? [25 Sep 2004|05:12am]
hundreds of friends all with there cute,creative,and deep away messages...but i still have no one to talk to
2 dont mind if i do| punch in the face?

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